Reminiscing on stuff

Oh what a day of unexpected events, my son is eleven today! We ended up going sledding at the mountain and being with my kids, Payton’s friend came to join us. We also had my brothers kids come along with us too, it was a fun filled day. The passes were so pretty going toward Silverton, CO. I was thinking of renting out snow shoes at the college for this coming weekend or any other weekend after church. There were a lot of people at the mountain just enjoying family, enjoying one another in the cold weather of the mountain. I think if I start to be active in outdoor recreation here around Durango, I think I will be much better in mind and in soul. I want to be where Gods country is, I want to be out where the wilderness is and commune with the Lord. When we passed by up toward the Coal Bank Pass I was reminiscing of the time Steve and I went hunting. I loved that he took me hunting, we hiked and he showed me areas of where elk roam and how they live day by day. He is so interesting to listen to when he talks about hunting and his knowledge of the wilderness. I loved how he did his bugle calls and the sounds of his whispers in the woods. The last hunt we took was so fun, we ended up doing a quickie in the woods. It was the most fun filled moment of the hunt, I loved it, and most memorable. I wanted to do more hunts like that. But that will never happen with him again. You never know, I might have a relationship that will have moments such as what we had. I love taking chances in the open and enjoying the spontaneous feeling of naughtiness. I tell ya what I don’t claim no perfection in who I am, I fall short every day. I can’t help it, I am human being, and I love the fruits of certain sins and that is one of them. However, I love that country and I hope one day I will take hunting trips again with the one that I love. One that I will love the rest of my life and till the end, the one and only true love God will give me while I am still on this earth. Sometimes I miss Steve, I miss the way he looks at me with his piercing eyes, I miss the way he touches me on my body. I miss how I use to love him, how I’d just hug him and love him with kisses. Those are the moments I miss, but he never loved me back like that, never really adored me the way I should have been adored. I did things to him that he yearned for every day, sometimes I wish I could have just did them every night for him. Just because I truly loved him. Oh well, that’s what having a broken heart is all about, you have to let go of all the memories whether they were sincere or not. Sometimes I think that in our relationship he was sick of me, sick of the sex we had, maybe I started to get worn out for his interest. Who knows, I just need to get over it, if I could get into his mind I think I’d be very troubled. It probably tarnish my mind to where it would be ruined. I think I will reconsider on that thought. Those were my thoughts on my mind today, it’s funny how memories come up during a trip, during a family outing, to end up reminiscing of naughty times you had with your ex.